All the things of my life have lead me to the moment…

I finally realized this past year that I was so focused on the past and what happened to me in the past and how I was mentally and physically abused growing up that I was MISSING the NOW!!

I felt so alone because I couldn’t connect with anyone that had experience the same pain I had because it was a secret. I hid it and swallowed my pain for years until recently. I know now it made me very angry and volatile as a teenager. It also made me extremely insecure in every aspect of my life. The physical abuse faded in my memory, it was the mental abuse and constant degrading that stayed in my head… “you are not good enough” is always what I heard in my head no matter what I did.

Today’s meditation topic was on self love and learning to receive before you can give. You know the saying you can only give when you have something to give.

I am in the process of receiving right now and taking care of myself and family so I can later give to others more fully. My path has been a long curvy and bumpy road but I know I am better for it and I know I can others as well.

Another huge breakthrough in the last few weeks is that I know I have to work for myself. I realize now I can be my own person and work for myself and determine my destiny. I joined Michael John Soekawa in the online marketing world in addition to my full-time job. In working just part time I have seen results that have solidified my belief this opportunity.